Rick Raw: Mule Museum Blues –Kicking Rep. Buck McKeon’s Ass–A Strange Alliance with W

By Rick Grant rickgrant01@comcast.net www.rickatnight.com

Earmarks are pork spending initiatives that surreptitiously get slipped into bills by our Congressmen who have pet projects back home such as statues of Rocky or Elvis in their city’s main square, or stocking their favorite fishing hole with bass. Normally, these "earmarks" are quietly added into the bills without our knowledge. But some of these pork spending earmarks are so ridiculously comedic they beg to be publicized, like a Mule Museum.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like mules even though they are cantankerous animals (a sterile cross between a female horse and a male donkey) whose hey-hawing brays could drive a mule handler batty. But Rep. Buck McKeon R-California wants to build a museum honoring the mule to the tune of $50,000 taxpayers’ dollars. And, Buck (Ass ) wants to hold the biggest mule celebration in the United States in tiny Bishop, California. Hey, how far can you toss a mule poop patty? Can horses have equal time?

This year alone, Americans for Prosperity, a pork spending watchdog group, uncovered house members’ pork spending binges totaling $13. 7 million in tax dollars on 63 museum related expenses. But Rep McKeon’s pork spending is not uncommon on the Hill and not limited to party affiliation. Rep. John Murtha, D-Pennsylvania, has asked for $150,000 to restore the W.A. Young and Sons Foundry as a "key historic property." Americans for Prosperity call Murtha "The King of Pork" for his earmark spending.

Yes, we send these knuckleheads to Washington to represent us–government for and by the people sayeth the Constitution–and they act like taxpayer money is their personal piggy bank. This outrageous robbery of our hard earned dollars amounted to $29 million in 2006. Efforts to make the earmarks more transparent have been thwarted by the same people that use them as perks–our Representatives. It’s cheaper if they get blow jobs at massage parlors or in airport bathrooms.

Not surprisingly, Congress’ approval rate is the lowest in history–22%. But it’s our fault–you and me, bubba–for not getting more involved with what’s going on the Hill. We should give these dunderheads hell by writing them E-mails or letters demanding accountability. Take these mealymouthed losers to task. They work for us–the people!

Recently, (to reiterate a previous Rick Raw piece) I heard that Congress was about to pass a Children’s Health Bill, (the so called S-Chip) which, at first, sounded righteous. But they were planning to finance it by the biggest tax increase in history on tobacco, which effected my guilty pleasure of smoking cigars. How dare they attack my nicotine addiction. What’s the world coming to if I can’t enjoy a cigar. Mark Twain joked that he made it a rule to smoke only one cigar at a time. I immediately sent out E-mails to Sen. Martinez and Senator Nelson. Their replies were typical politicians’ gobbledegook.

The tax increase on cigars would amount to over 2,000% and would tax the cigar industry out of existence. Fine cigars are already expensive, but with the new tax, a box of medium quality cigars would cost $500.00 or more. To add insult to injury, there would be a floor tax on inventory, further burdening the industry in many different countries, forcing thousands of workers out of jobs.

Here’s the kicker: If they tax the tobacco industry out of existence, then they will have no money to fund the initiative–nullifying the program! Everyone loses! It’s a bone-head move by our elected representatives. In this ad hoc case, I was in Bush’s camp. He vetoed the bill with not enough votes to override it. Bush has threatened to veto a revised version of the bill. Yes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend–even if I cringe at the alliance.