Rick Raw: Dumbest Pirates of Somalia–Drug Addled Lowlifes Attack a U.S. Warship

By Rick Grant Commentary rickgrant01@comcast.net

The problem of pirates attacking commercial shipping in the Gulf of Aden off the coast of Somalia continues to be a scourge. For years now, they had seized many vessels and collected millions in ransom.

Most commercial ships sailing into the Gulf of Aden have taken precautions, such as hiring armed security or installing sound wave weapons that temporarily incapacitate the rag-tag Somalian pirates, driving them off suffering extreme ear pain.

However, now that piracy has become a money making profession among the dirt poor Somalians, a new class of pirates has set sail. These are the dumbest pirates in Somalia–illiterate and drug addicted lowlifes. This rabble had not even bothered to learn the basics of their trade.

The pirate morons set out in flimsy skiffs armed with AK-47s and RPGs thinking if they fire on a vessel it will comply. However, no one taught them about U.S. warships operating in the region.

They couldn’t tell the difference between a tanker and a heavily armed missile frigate. Idiots!

When the USS Nicholas was cruising along in the Gulf of Aden on a training mission, the first officer summoned the captain to the bridge. He couldn’t believe that three Somalian skiffs were firing on his ship.

"You’ve got to be kidding," the captain exclaimed, incredulously. He then ordered the .50 caliber machine gun operator to splash the skiffs out of the water. With three bursts of the mighty .50 cal, the gunner easily sank the skiffs. The captain then sent out a armed crew to fish out the hapless pirates and detain them in the brig.

Awhile later, the radar operator in command of the missiles got a lock on the mother ship and the captain ordered him to fire a ship killing missile at the old rust bucket. The powerful ship-to-ship missile blew the mother ship in half, sinking it in less than two minutes.

The captain was ecstatic that the crew got some action in a real case scenario. The more experienced pirates back on the Somalian beach were embarrassed by their lesser colleagues stupidity. It was the talk of the pirate contingent.

The pirates were formally arrested and remained on board the USS Nicholas until they could be scheduled to go on trial in the piracy court in Kenya. The USS Nicholas is based in Norfolk, Virginia. It is part of the U.S. military’s African Command.

Recently, the piracy problem has escalated off the coast of Somalia due in part to the country’s lack of a central government. The impoverished country is the wild west where anarchy rules and everyone is heavily armed with inexpensive AK-47s and RPGs. Rival warlords rule their gangs and fight each other for territory. Some of them have become wealthy using kidnaping and piracy as a means of raising cash.

Last week another piracy attack was thwarted against a Panamanian flagged cargo ship, the MV Almezaan. During the attack, the captain called a European Union naval force to drive off the pirates with heavy fire.

And so, the global shipping companies are fighting back by using escorts through the Gulf of Aden or hiring security companies to fend off the pirates. But the dumbest pirates of Somalia who attacked the USS Nicholas will be the butt of jokes for many years to come.