Rick Raw: Sarah Palin–Political Whore? Media Gadfly? Ditzy Broad? Or All of The Above?

By Rick Grant Commentary rickgrant01@comcast.net

The McCain campaign created a monster when they anointed Sarah Palin queen of the McCain ticket. She quickly pissed off McCain’s staff with her pushy, demanding personality. She was an unmanagable she-devil on the loose and she had McCain’s staffers scurrying around like rats on meth, desperately trying to control her.

Palin was the devil in a red suit and designer glasses. The bitch was upstaging McCain and throwing gasoline on the fiery controversy. Frankly, I was intrigued and having sex dreams about romping naked with Palin holding a Remington deer rifle, bringing down a large moose and saying "let’s get drunk and screw."

Suddenly, Palin was adding excitement to the boring Republican image and making McCain look like a ragged out old coot. This broad has spunk. And, dammit, I like spunk. More excitingly, she says what’s on her mind, however dumb it might come out. Hell, she doesn’t care. She’s moves on like a runaway train. "So what if Africa is not a country, I’ve got other things on my mind, like taking over the world," she could have said.

Before long, McCain realized that he had a tigress by the tail and she was the show and he was yesterday’s news. Dang, he regretted getting turned-on by her and thinking she would look great next to him.

And yes, McCain wanted to fuck her. I saw him ogling her. Yeah, but he let the she-corba out of the sack and she was going to scare the bejesus out of the stodgy Republican party.

Oddly, the opposite thing happened. Palin’s aw-shucks, down-home, hunting mom pioneer spirit caught on with conservatives. Secretly, buttoned down Christian conservative men wanted to fuck her and their Barbie Doll wives wanted to be her. Not surprisingly, well known lesbians wanted to fuck her.

Palin was riding the bucking bronco of a sexy broad with a book deal and enough controversy and gossip to keep her splashed on tabloid covers and the national media saturation. Only Balloon Boy and Tiger Woods pushed her from the tabloid covers.

So what’s Palin’s end-game? At every stop on her book tour, long lines awaited her majesty– Ms. moose killing mom on steroids. Some people camped out the night before her appearance to see her in person. With that high level of charisma, Palin could drive a snow plow and get press.

The ambitious wunderkind beauty was a mayor at 32, state governor at 42, and a national candidate at 44. She’s a working mother of five children. She shrugged off the negative press about her family and pressed on like she is possessed by a burning desire to rise to the pentacle of celebrity-hood, and get extremely wealthy.

Palin has the household word recognition and moxie to run for president. The Republican party, which is bogged down with niggling old farts–needs her to forge ahead. She’s like a sexy race car driver in need of a hot political machine.

Like Joan of Arc, Palin could lead the Republican party if she can get her poll numbers up. A recent CNN poll revealed that 7 out of 10 Americans think she is not qualified to be president.

In a society where image is greater than reality, Palin is positioned well with conservatives–the heart and soul of the Republican Party. All those lines at her book signing were telling. Look how far pretty boy John Edward got before he crashed and burned in a nasty sex scandal while his wife was suffering from terminal cancer.

As time goes on, Palin will be out in the hinterlands of America gaining new converts to her kick ass agenda. I would never underestimate Palin. She’s an exciting and interesting woman who has the balls to get out there and push herself, manage a big family, hunt, fish, and generally impress moms everywhere with her drive. I know, she’s really a man with a vagina.

In a crazy way, it would be a major turn-on to see this modern day Annie Oakley as president. Hey, it could happen. Dumbass George W. Bush stole one election and then was definitely elected. Never underestimate the stupidity of American voters.

If Palin was elected president, commentators like me and comedians would be ecstatic. Imagine waking up to Sarah Palin as President of the United States. Hell, the material would write itself. Hot damn!

Go girl– and for the record, I’d vote for you just to see what happens. Imagine, indeed! You, me hunting in the woods naked? Hey an old man can dream.