Rick Raw: Obama Clinton Campaign Overkill–Mixed Martial Arts Match to Settle Race

By Rick Grant rickgrant01@comcast.net www.rickatnight.com

As Obama and Clinton battle it out in this tedious, never ending political slugfest, voters are turned off by the mud-slinging and the dragged out battle for the Democratic nomination. Frankly, I’m sick of the campaign and hearing the pundits’ endless speculation about every word out of Clinton or Obama’s mouth.

The campaign has turned into a traveling carnival of sound-bytes, accusations, and counter-accusations by Obama and Clinton. It’s a freak show. "See the pant-suited lady tell stories of her close calls on the campaign trail. See the dark man ramble about his roots and white mother. See the almost white crazy pastor rail against white people." Yes, it’s become a bad comedy show that is alienating young and old. Come on, enough already! By November, people may just decide not to vote because they are so disgusted with the whole undignified process. People would rather get a root-canal than watch this sleaze-ball spectacle. .

Clearly, Clinton’s Pennsylvania win has given her a boost in the polls. But she still trails Obama in delegates, and a recent Newsweek poll shows that Obama has a 7 point lead over Clinton. But with margins of error taken into account, going into Indiana and North Carolina, Clinton an Obama are in a dead heat. If this plays out, Obama will still emerge ahead in delegates. If Clinton loses just one of these critical states, she may be out. But what about Florida and Michigan. Are those votes going to be thrown out? Again, are Floridians going to get screwed like in 2000? Probably!

To settle this, I suggest a mixed martial arts contest between Clinton and Obama with the nomination going to the winner. Imagine: In one corner, Senator Clinton wearing an all-silk karate outfit ready to rumble. Earlier, Clinton was seen knocking-back a shot and a beer, getting into her working person’s mode to do battle with Obama. In the other corner, Obama looking confident in his skin tight black jump suit. The women scream when he enters the ring. Reverend Sharpton is the referee. It’s a 3 round no-holds-barred smack down. The match sold out in the first few minutes that the tickets went on sale.

The bell rings--Clinton jumps out and goes for Obama’s neck. He counters with the throw-down. Clinton rallies, jumps to her feet and in a flurry of punches staggers Obama. He recovers and counterpunches with vicious resolve. Clinton falls back but keeps her footing. The two fighters trade punches and suddenly it’s the third round. Instantly, Obama goes out and throws Clinton to the mat with such force, Clinton is dazed. He gets a death grip on her neck, but Clinton grabs his leg and pulls it back. The two fighters scream with pain. Reverend Sharpton stops the match, and declares a draw. The crowd boos and screams for a winner. Bloodied and exhausted, the two candidates slowly get to their feet and hug each other. They vow to come together as the dream ticket. The next match will decide who runs for President and who settles for vice President.

Yes, this is the ultimate badass politics I can get behind.